I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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