hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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