in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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