do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize