dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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