I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize