Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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