I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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