i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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