i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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