Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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