how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize