Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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