it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize