My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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