the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize