you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize