Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i drank out of a bidet.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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