He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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