this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
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So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
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After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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