just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize