My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize