im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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