Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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