im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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