You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
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You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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