So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize