I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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