I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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