It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dignity is for republicans.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
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mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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