and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
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He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
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If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am naked and annoyed.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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