Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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