hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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