Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
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I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
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Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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