Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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