she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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