Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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