I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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