He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize