Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize