Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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