Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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