she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
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There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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