okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
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I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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