Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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