so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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