how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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