If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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