you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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