The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize